I'm So In Love (Finale)

MmmmmmMMmmmmm... I love you more than words can say. I want to be near you. All my life I've wished for love this true. I cherish every moment I have with you. When you're near I can't help but smile. Because you are my reason for survival. I just love you because I do but I can't change it. Its not my choice. I wish I didn't, but that's how love is. I can't say a word about you. I have to forget about you. I wish you didn't make it so difficult for both. There are things I wish I could tell you. There are many things I need tell you, but I can't find the way. I can't find you. Your way of looking life is different from mine. I can't change it. Its not my choice. I wish I didn't love you. I can't forget about you. I just wish it could all work out like it once happened.

To Be Continue ......................

M, you are so good and maybe the nicest I've ever dated. You're considerate and thoughtful and you really show that you respect me in everything that you do. You treat other people the same way, which is one of the things that attracted me to you. I don't know how to say this without hurting your feelings, so I guess I'd better just come out and say it. I love you, but not the way that you love me. Remember on the 29th May, when I met you at Z's place, you introduced W to me. When i saw W and touched her skin, I started to fall in love with W. Every minutes and every seconds, i just keep on staring at W. I'm sorry for telling you this but I don't have the feelings for you that I need to have for W. I want to spend the rest of my life with W. I know you're always telling me that you love me, but I still can't believe it, I guess. I love you too but when you lie to me , it drives me nuts. I know you don't mean anything by it, but I'm so insecure when it comes to your love. I know this may sound ridiculous and i know you can't accept that I love your sister than you do. I have been going out with W for 2 weeks now and I am so in love with her.

I can imagine how you're feeling as you read this and I know I'm a coward for not telling you in person. I just couldn't face you, knowing that what I have to tell you will destroy your world. I know it hurts you now, and it hurts me too, believe me. I hate doing this. But it has to be. Better now than after we get more involved. I know that you'll thank me for letting you go. When you get over me and find someone who feels that spark, that excitement, when you kiss them, you'll know that ending our relationship was for the best.

I wish nothing but the best for you, M. You deserve to be happy and I know you will be in time. I'm sorry that I wasn't the one for you and I hope you can forgive me some day.

THE END

******************************************

Plain Lazy

After watching the happening, I somehow becoming more lazy than before, well before this, i was lazy pulang but not as lazy as this. What i meant by my laziness is about me updating my blog. I have no mood to update the blog, seriously, I have nothing to say although most of my friends want me to blog about my "M". They really wanna know what happened to "M". I went to met "M" last Sunday. I was excited at first but something that makes me feel not comfortable with M, things that aren't suppose to happen has just happened. (mcm salah grammer ku ani) Owh crap, why do I have to talk about this. Sheesshh...

Anyhoots, last nite, I went out with the ladies (Roseh, Cookie and Goldie) to London Kebab, chilling, eating, talking, discussing, etc.. I didn't like my donner kebab because they gave me the chicken skin banyak instead of the chicken meat. I'm not complaining la because I love their foods. But what I most like about that place is i dont have to order any drinks from them because they know what I want and terus durang serve on the spot. Cool huh.. :) Sasak terus si Roseh when the waiter serve my drinks atu hehe.. Oh today was extremely very very hot. I was really sweating and because of the heat atu, i nearly collapse. I can't stand the heatwave, extremely HOT. Even sudah buka aircon, still panas. Moreover my window is near the roof and the roof is made from zinc, makin tia panas lagi bilik ah. Pengsan ku tadi around 1.30pm because of the heatwave atu. And i was really really weak berabis. My head was really heavy (bnyk pahala kali) and I wear glasses the whole day up till now because my eyes was really blury even ku pakai lens. Dugaan eh hari ani...


Ohh if you notice i didn't reply any of you in my tagboard on the leftside ani, that is because i can't view my tagboard since this morning. Right now pun masih lagi still the same, i can't view it. Is it me facing this problem or everyone jua. I notice my friend's blog pun facing the same problem but other blogs using the same tagboard, okay saja. Something is really reaally weird goin on here.. hmmm...

**************************************************************

I'm So In Love ( Part II )

My beloved M, I can not stand this. It is just too hard to be away from you. I am usually okay, but at times like this (especially tonight) it just becomes too much to bear. I can not sleep tonight from thinking of you.

I just have to tell you, M, to share with you that sacred part of my inner, secret life, the thoughts I think that everyone has but does not always say. I know that sometimes pride gets in the way of expressing emotions. I believe that is the cause of my reticence in telling you how I feel sometimes, that and the fact that passion in an extreme state can be scary, you almost just want to shut it away for fear that it will eventually destroy you. I think of my feelings, my love for you not with craving or with hope or even desire, but just with a kind of wonder that such things could be. You have opened my eyes to how love should feel. I can promise you this, I will never again settle for less.

But, at this time in both of our lives, we are surrounded by possibilities of choice, open doors and wide horizons, which I know, may come between us. But I also know and hope that they could eventually bring us together, with both of us being better for the time we spent apart. Even though you are far away, you're all that I can see, I carry you with me through all my days and I miss you more than I can say. Also, M, remember this - I love you no less than if you were right here now.

To be continue.............................

*********************************************